Hospital Pictures

Our hospital experience, an experience that can't be described with words, but filled with love, the spirit, sadness, joy, tears, and feelings of gratitude. A memorable time that Brandon and I were able to spend with little Emme, moments of joy that will never be forgotten, and a deep feeling of gratitude for Kayla, Kayla's mom Kathy, and Ryan, the birth father. We know we have been truly blessed, that the Lord watches over us and all his children, and that He answers prayers. Emme is an answer to our prayers. Welcome to our family little one, we love you.

Kayla, the birth mom, with us the day of placement.

What a courageous women she is.

Kayla and her mom, strong women.

Our first family photo

She doesn't like to be naked

Deep in thought

Hello world

Tour of Utah

One thing Brandon and I promised each other was that after we had kids we would continue to do the things that we loved and our kids would come along. We love spending time together, outside, and going to a bike race was a perfect activity. Emme was 5 days old, she was perfect. We had a the perfect spot up Cottonwood Canyon as we cheered the riders to the finsih after a long day on the bike.

Jen, my sister-in-law, found the perfect bike outfit.

Livestrong..this is a kid size braclet...she has a little growing to do!

She slept through the most exciting part.

Two Weeks Old

6 lb 11 oz

19 inches

Emme K, Our Little Miracle

Wow! Meet our sweet little miracle, Emme K, she joined our family on August 9, 2011. She was 6lb 2oz and 18inches long. The October 1st due date was a little off, so the surprise phone call on Monday, August 8th that Kayla, the birth mom was dilated to a two and 80% effaced sent us into a whirl-wind of buying a car seat, diapers, wipes, and formula. About 24 hours later we received a phone call to come to the hospital because Kayla was in labor and our little girl was on her way.

The past two weeks have been somewhat of a blur. From the overwhelming joy from holding sweet little Emme, bathing her, and feeding her first bottle to bringing her home on August 11, 2011 to find all of the love and support of our family, friends, and ward. To the now the sleepless nights and wonderful days of watching her sleep.

My wonderful young women decorated our house to welcome us home. Multiple people brought outfits, diapers, blankets, and meals to welcome Emme home. We are grateful for all of the love and support we have been given. We know that Emme is loved…we are sure everyone came for her not us!

Although our family is experiencing the greatest joy, another family is suffering a great loss. The sacrifice and selfless love that they showed to place Emme is something that we will forever be grateful for. We can only imagine the difficult decision that was made. It was an extremely noble act for not only Kayla and Ryan, the birth parents, but also their families. We will always have a very special place in our heart for their families.

Emme is a calm little girl, like any little baby, she eats, sleeps, poops, and cries. She loves lying on her dad’s chest. She already has him wrapped around her pinky. He would do anything for his little princess. She has many alert hours where she looks around; it is just most often from midnight to 4am. Yet, we still hold her and talk with her and play with her when she is awake, taking advantage of all the time we have with her.

Emme she is loved by all her cousins, aunts and uncles, and of course her grandmas and grandpas. Suddenly they have all come to our house, not for us, just for Emme. We walk into family parties and the question is, “Where is Emme?” “Can we hold her?” They can’t wait to have sleep overs, babysit, and play princesses with her.

Emme has done a lot in the last two weeks. Besides meeting many of her cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents, she has been to her first bike race, the Tour of Utah, her cousin Elle’s soccer game, to Grandma & Grandpa K’s swimming, and even to mom’s school.

Emme is a great blessing and we love her. She has brought so much joy to us and our families. We can’t wait to continue to love her, watch her grow, teach her and have many more adventures throughout her life. Welcome home Emme K.

The Ride So Far...

Two months ago we turned in our initial adoption application. When we met with the case worker we were told 6-8 months to complete the paperwork, background checks, education classes, and home study. After all this was completed then our profile would be posted.

I was determined to not take six months to complete paper work...once I saw the amount I was glad that I don't work in the summer, allowing me time to complete everything in just a little over a month. It was helpful that a good friend approach us in the middle of July with a possible birth mom.

So the story begins...a birth mom due September 1st with twins. We were overwhelmed but excited to think it could happen so fast and two...yikes! We quickly called our case worker and requested we speed things up with the home study. The real problem was we weren't ready for the home study. From the Wednesday we found out about the twins until we had a completed home study was just 5 days. We are very grateful for B's mom and dad who spent the day baby proofing our house. After a long day of work my parents gave us a yummy meal and we were ready. We were hopeful and excited for the possibility of becoming parents.

The waiting game began, we didn't hear anything about the birth mom, and then suddenly, we heard that she hadn't been coming in for her appointments and wasn't returning phone calls. The agency decided they would match the birth mom with a couple, in case she came back once she delivered. Down to us and one other family. Excited, but yet apprehensive we hoped we would be matched.

The dreaded phone call, we have decided to match the birth mom with the other family, we would like to meet with you and Brandon to talk about how to improve your profile for future consideration of placements. It was interesting to me, although I had tried to protect myself from heartbreak I was devastated. We were on a bike ride when we got the phone call, and Brandon will tell you I have never ridden so hard. All with tears streaming down my face.

The entire weekend I tried to find peace and figure out how I was going to go through this process without putting so much emotion into the process, so it wouldn't hurt so bad. I attempted to see the positive that having this possible placement moved things from 6 months to just over a month. We would be ready for the next birth mom. After a weekend of prayers, tears, and comforting Brandon and I decided we wouldn't tell anyone of a possible placement until after we had been matched.

Monday, August 1st. Sitting in with our caseworker, Jacci, she started by saying something to the effect of...well before we talk about your profile I want to talk to you about something else. I was sure she was going to counsel us about the placement and see how we were handling the situation.

Instead she said, "You've been matched with a birth mom."

I looked at B, he looked at me, we spoke no words...I think we were in shock.
"It is okay to cry", Jacci said.

"I know, I just wasn't expecting this at all"

Then the tears flowed as she told us a few of the details. I don't remember many because I just sat surprised, elated, confused, and overjoyed. It wasn't at all what I was expecting.


A Little About the Birth Mother...

We were lucky enough to meet her on August 2nd for about an hour. She is adorable. She is feeling great and doing well with this pregnancy. Her name is Kayla, she is 20 years old and this is her third child. She currently is a single mom to two little girls, 2 and 1 years of age. As she is working diligently to get back to school and work when she discovered she was pregnant again. She has decided to place this little girl. She is Irish, petite, and has beautiful auburn hair.

Placing a child is such a selfless act of love. When we had the opportunity to meet with her, I could see her desire to do what is best for this child but also the children she is currently raising. I admire and respect her as I can only imagine the difficult decision this must be. I am also elated that she is allowing Brandon and I to have the opportunity to be parents and raise this little girl.

She is due sometime in September. The doctors have not given her an official due date. When we met she was between 33-36 weeks along, and at her last appointment the ultra sound showed the baby was healthy. Her first child was 7 weeks premature and her second full term so we could be expecting any day. Right now we are thinking of the name Emmy K Bills. We are also considering Kaylee, Oliva, and Skylar...we are up for other ideas.


Some of the Miracles Along the Way...

It is amazing to me that during the ride we (or maybe just me) don't see the Lord's hand at work. I am not the most patient person when it comes to things I can't control, like dealing with infertility for the last couple of years. We were ready to have a family, why wasn't it working. But as I have reflected the past few days I can see some amazing things.

First...our neighbor...knowing that we were looking to adopt through LDS Family Services, she kept us in mind and was continually looking out for us. Without her I am sure we would still be
waiting on a home study.

Second...the twins...having this opportunity caused us to get everything in order. Brandon and I had planned to be out of town when the twins came to the for front. We are blessed with many around us that helped us be ready. Our parents helped us with the to-dos on our house. We managed to get a railing up on the staircase in one day. We hung mirrors, covered outlets, hung additional smoke detectors, and a lot more. I am lucky to have a great friend that helped to put our pictures together over the weekend so we could have it ready.. and Brandon and I enjoyed a nice weekend getaway and wrote our letter to a birth mother.

Third...copy of home study...during the selection process, the agency looked at our birth mother letter and our pictures. They narrowed from four profiles to two. Then they asked for the home study. I called LDS to find out, although it was done, our caseworker there was not finished writing it. I told him of the need and he quickly finished it that night. Little did we know that there would be a few key errors that would cause the agency to go with the other family. Errors like, copy and pasting from another home study and forgetting to change the names to ours. Not inserting the correct financial information, and a few other minor things. Yet, had we been matched to the twins our profile would not have been available to be looked at when Kayla came in.

Fourth...did I mention this agency doesn't do adoptions anymore. The fact the twins adoption was taking place with this agency was unusual but to have a second birth mom come in at nearly the same time is more than just a coincidence. Kayla, the birth mom had three profiles to look at and she selected us.

Fifth...Steve my father-in-law...well since our miscarriage some time ago he has said that he was sure we were going to have a little girl. During the sadness of hearing we hadn't been selected for the twins (which were boys) he assured us it was because there was a little girl waiting for us. During January this past year, while at Eagle Point, he told me about us having a little girl for a second time. A little girl had talked to him and told him that she would be coming. We pray that she is coming through Kayla.

The Lord has a plan for us, if only we are patient enough to wait for it. I have learned so much and my faith has grown as I have had to learn to rely more on our Heavenly Father. Brandon is an amazing example, he has remained calm and stayed patient. He has comforted me continually as he has assured me that the Lord would get our children to us when the time is right.

With adoption nothing is never final until the time of placement. We pray continually for Kayla, and that she will be able to place this little girl, although it will be difficult for her. We pray that Kayla will be able to continue to be a mom to her two other little girls and return to school as she desires . Placing a child is a selfless act of love and we are blessed to have the possible opportunity to raise this little girl.

This ride has been bumping, but we have stayed upright. We are sure we have more bumps ahead but we know that with family, friends, each other, and the gospel we will always be able to move forward.