Our next roller coaster ride...
Building our family through adoption wasn’t what we envisioned when we got married and talked about having a family. Yet, it has been a wonderful blessing. Although, it is like being on a large roller coaster with more hills, turns, twists, and loops than we could have imagined, it is a thrilling ride with an amazing forever family in the end.
Since March when we had a placement fall through we have
been a little apprehensive to jump on the ride again. The past two months we
have started to fully put our hearts back on the line with adoptions. We found
a couple of different agencies that we could put our profile on in hopes to
find another little one to join our forever family.
Most recently we looked into Heart and Soul, from a
recommendation from a friend. Thanks Nan J!
I was surprised at just how many birth moms they were working with. In just a
few short weeks we had a number of opportunities to look at birth moms.
Just a few of the lessons learned. ..
Our intense desire to build our family makes it difficult to
determine the difference between your emotions and answers to prayers. A few weeks ago we had the opportunity to
talk with a wonderful birth mom, who wanted meet us to see if we she wanted to
match. We began praying. After praying for a few days and trying to decide what we
thought, we would wait to see if she selected us. We showed our profile, she
selected us, we talked on the phone, and then what happened next was something
I would have never expected.
I looked at Brandon and we just looked at each other,
disappointed. We don’t know why but we both knew it wasn’t right. I wanted it
to be right, I prayed begging Heavenly Father for a it to be right, we wanted
another child, but I just knew I wasn't getting a yes answer. It wasn’t shouting no, but it wasn’t
shouting yes either. Brandon then shared a scripture that he had read as he had
been praying and reading about our situation.
D & C 9: 8-9 But, behold, I say unto you, that you must
study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is
right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall
feel that it is right. But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings,
but you shall have a stupor of thought…
So we went on faith, and this scripture that this child was
meant in some other home. It was hard, devastating for me, how long until
another birth mom would pick us. If the following weeks, three or four other
birth mothers came, we didn’t feel the burning and so we waited…
The roller coaster…
Then we had one, the burning heart, the excitement, the
prayers, just to find out another family was selected. I was a bit angry, why
would Heavenly Father let me have that burning bosom feeling and then not have
the birth mom select us. I cried, I yelled, I prayed, and then I listened. ..
I was on a business trip at the time, so I had some alone
time, and I spent much of it on my knees, trying to understand. I walked away
with…okay, I learned the difference from the burning of the bosom and the
stupor or thought. And I put my faith
back in Heavenly Father and waited.
We had a couple other stupor of thought days, and then
today, on National Adoption Day…we had a burning of the bosom.
It started with an email at 7:30 on the 22nd of
November. Would we be interested in showing our profile. As I read about the
birth mom, D, I felt a warm calm feeling come over me. I shared the email with
Brandon and he immediately said, show our profile. The day went on…hard to
concentrate…and soon we had the phone call to answer a few questions. We were
told we will have an answer for you first thing in the morning.
The longest night, I didn’t sleep, thank goodness for
Hallmark Christmas Movies! Emme woke up, totally unusually for her, and I got
to hold and cuddle her for a couple of hours as she slept in my arms. I couldn’t
eat, I couldn’t think straight, and my heart was burning. I checked my phone
all morning looking for emails, texts, or a phone call. After I couldn’t wait
any longer I texted our case worker.
“You have been matched, it’s official” I just cried, tears
running down my checks. I called Brandon who had just left for work. The
greatest peace came over me. And then the realization that we have a lot to do!
J So here are the
details of our match.
The birth mom, D,
lives in Florida. She is due December 2nd, but is dilated to a two,
and was sent home from labor and delivery on Thursday. So in realty she could deliver any
day. She doesn’t know what she is having because the baby wouldn’t show things
in the ultra sound, so it will be a surprise. Florida adoption laws are birth
mom can sign papers 72 hours after birth. (Utah is 24 hours) and then we have
to wait 7-10 days for some clearance from the state. So we will spend those
days in Florida.
I am not exactly sure how that will look for us yet, we aren’t
sure if we will both go the entire time, if we will bring Emme or not. We are
going to call on some members in the area to see if anyone can help us out,
because staying in a hotel for nearly three weeks doesn’t sound like much fun!
So now, we just wait for the phone call that she is going
into labor, then we find a flight and get to Florida! Then we wait and pray that the adoption happens.
Like all adoptions, although this birth mom is wanting to
place, it is a difficult decision that they must make. It is the most selfless
act a birth mother can do, place their child in our arms, to trust us enough to
raise it. We hope and prayer that she will continue to have the strength to
place this little one in our family; knowing we will do everything in our power
to care and love this child. To give this child all the experiences one might
have during life. To play with them, love them, educate them, parent them, and
most of all, let them know that they have so many people, including their birth
mom, that loves them dearly.
We look forward to this opportunity and hope to be bringing
home the best Christmas present, a new baby to join our forever family. Please
pray for us, for birth mommy, and for the baby that it will be born healthy.
The ride continues, we will post updates as we get them. A birth mom giving us something we can't give ourselves...a family. Thank you. Adoption is amazing.
